like i never knew me at a-a-all all.

ive said goodbye to the things that used to make my heart tick

ive packed away so many things and only carry what is necessary

to go to work and make money to talk to people who pay the money

i put on a show for them because it is what makes me money and

money is what i need

i smiled so much because i thought this was what would make me smile

then i stopped smiling in what felt like two seconds after i started

after too long waiting to smile and you waiting for me to smile

because you told me that it is not okay

that i am not okay and you have told me many times before

that what i do is not okay for you

but when you say that i am not okay

i am not okay

making my heart tick is all i really knew it is what i grew up with

because what else should there really be but

i decided i was wrong and felt ashamed once i realized

following what makes my heart tick got me no money and

money is what we need

i have diminished so much from my life in order to be with you

and yet i can not fully be with you not with my whole body

and you deserve my whole body or none of it at all

without you my body goes to whoever whenever wherever

and my soul is alone sad scared lost not making money and

i am not okay