How to be cool.

When we were young, my straight A brother asked me "how do u get cool?"

Well hey that's cool I get invited to the places all the cool kids are going, that's cool that's cool. But really, it's cool and I'm cool and I've done cool stuff to be cool and only now can I say that yes, I really did want to be cool because now, yes, I really don't need it anymore. The biggest tragedy is that it is not tragic and the cOol kids think it is. Because the things I find fulfilling are tragic when you're cool. But.......I'm loving all the things I used to fear. I am cool enough, though, to acknowledge that "the cool kids" are me myself and I just criticizing each other because of the pure shock that after so long just working at being cool....it's not nearly what matters. I keep trying, lately, to continue to enjoy the chase of cool. Alas, at the mere middle of the night, I want to go home and watch a movie in my sweatpants with an uncool tag and an uncool fit. Life got better when I dropped cool. And for understanding that, I feel very very cool ;)

like i never knew me at a-a-all all.

ive said goodbye to the things that used to make my heart tick

ive packed away so many things and only carry what is necessary

to go to work and make money to talk to people who pay the money

i put on a show for them because it is what makes me money and

money is what i need

i smiled so much because i thought this was what would make me smile

then i stopped smiling in what felt like two seconds after i started

after too long waiting to smile and you waiting for me to smile

because you told me that it is not okay

that i am not okay and you have told me many times before

that what i do is not okay for you

but when you say that i am not okay

i am not okay

making my heart tick is all i really knew it is what i grew up with

because what else should there really be but

i decided i was wrong and felt ashamed once i realized

following what makes my heart tick got me no money and

money is what we need

i have diminished so much from my life in order to be with you

and yet i can not fully be with you not with my whole body

and you deserve my whole body or none of it at all

without you my body goes to whoever whenever wherever

and my soul is alone sad scared lost not making money and

i am not okay

Bienvenidos a Fiesta de mi Casa Sueno

¿cómo hacer esto?

empieza con la mujer

se dice "casarse conmigo sólo por el vestido!"

y después con la vida.

hay que enseñarle a respirar.

con comida y la belleza y la alegría...

con amor.

el mismo, pero diferente a la nuestra

porque el mundo cambia y crece

(el universo demasiado)

Playland era hermosa.....

pero lo he superado.

es tiempo

de crecer

y nadie

me obliga a hacerlo

yo todavía lo pasarán en grande

y ser salvaje

debe haber algo sobre la presencia de su amor

que me hace pensar con claridad.

mantiene mi mente en el cielo....

mis sueños de alta

y me siento como una reina.

¿no es como el amor que nos hacen sentir?

mi anhelo de una casa limpia de mi propia

es más fuerte que cualquier cosa

es hora de liberarse juntos

una isla desierta en la ciudad

y marque todo.