What I have tonight is the most perfect for me right here and right now.
You come home from the job you like, not minding to sit in traffic because your city is so beautiful and the sounds on your stereo are just right...
You like looking at the heavy fog roll over the spots of sunshine that reveal just enough of blue sky to remind you it's still there. At a red light, a man yells to say you are beautiful - you hate it. But do you?
You stop at the art store to play with colors that make you feel good, get home and cook something interesting. Something that makes you feel even better.
Talk to the people you love, for just a moment to remind them you love them.
Pour a second glass of wine.
Sit down and get engulfed in the bright white of the lamp shining on the paper on the white desk where you have the perfect amount of space filled. It matches the steady beat behind you. Your heart pumps.
You anticipate seeing the one you love most in the world walking through that door soon. Until then, you put your hands around the colors. Scribble a little and breathe out, stop to contemplate your next move - hold your breath. It goes on....
Smile as your body fulfills your desire. The desire to plant what you see in your head onto a space that lasts forever. Then step back.
He's sleeping now, go in to kiss him on the head. See the black of his hair and hear his steady breath. After years on years, feeling his presence is still what makes life go on.
Wrap a long sweater around you, come back to your space, see it and back away.
OH the satisfaction. The most precise imperfections, the most balance of what I was and what I am...with just enough of who I want to be. Not the epitome of beauty, but the epitome of all that is perfect to me.
