Thursday, November 5, 2009

Predominant Intuitions



Predominant Intuitions
{with the aid of Tarot}




Premonitions about the number 19: The age 19 – i would experience significant and positive changes in my life. Particularly, around my 19th birthday. The overall premonition included love and romance. Leading up to my 19th birthday, I was a new freshman at college and just started seeing Joe. 9 days after my 19th birthday, Joe and I decided to be exclusive. The entire year was the best I’ve ever had so far in my life. Full of new and life changing friendships, ideas, creativity, and joy.

ages 20, 21, and 22 were extensions of 19. Just following through with the natural actions and reactions to the way 19 set up my life. Adjusting, readjusting, fighting, breaking up, moving to my own place, losing friends, making new friends, moving to a new city, dabbling in rebound love interests, etc.

the edge of 22 has brought me “The Tower” (a tarot card that I use to describe the events in my life). The Tower symbolizes a GIANT and sudden breakdown in everything around you in order to then rebuild from the rubble and put back all the pieces in order to create something revitalized and sturdier. My version of the tower happened when my place in Philadelphia began to resemble a half way house because of neglectful and tension-filled roommate wars. Work was getting more and more scarce and my bills were piling high. When I woke up with a fever one day and no one anywhere near to help me, I had finally had it. The tower was collapsing and I had to move home to my family and begin to pick up the pieces. Not only did the tower come up first when I read my tarot cards, but I had a vivid and enlightening dream literally interperating everything that the tower symbolizes.

I spent much needed alone time with myself and reevaluated my entire life. Some relationships with people had gone astray and I knew I needed to put them back together. As much as some people were ecstatic and welcoming to my recovery, others were bitter and more concerned with calling it quits. Either way, I was ready to rebuild by using the old pieces I had let fall astray along with the new pieces that I picked up along the way that are positive.

The months inside of the end of 22 that I’ve been using to recover have truly proved successful and continue to reap benefits for rebuilding my tower. I’ve come across “The World” tarot card (symbolizes a complete journey through adversity, struggle, pleasure, and pain) and an abundance of cards that symbolize healing, listening to your inner voice, intuition, subconscious, spiritual and inner guidance, and cultivating new growth while never neglecting the old.
 
 


Premonitions about the number 23: The age 23 – the number is highlighted in my brain. It has been highlighted for over a year now, the same amount of time that 19 was. It is lit up and has to do with the same people, ideas, and aspects that were involved with 19 but there is a large vague aspect to it that probably has to do with both the things I am yet to experience and the things that differ from premonition 19. It becomes clearer as my birthday gets closer. It has gone beyond just an intuition at this point and almost transformed completely into a knowledge.


That is leading me to believe that it will possibly be an overall aura on every aspect of my life. And that would not only make sense but be very rewarding after I have spent so much time focusing on balance and the overall me. 23 is also Joe’s lucky number, his age, and the age I will turn in less than a month. Also it is the day of the month that Joe’s birthday is on in may AND the day of the month that Nicole’s birthday is in March. This has helped me to conclude (along with a strong sense in which I’m unaware of the origin) that this premonition is going to have an effect or have to do with these two people. I am positive that the premonition involves me. But I see these people also being involved either along with me or on their own journeys.


My focus has been largely on individual relationships with people, trying to listen more in order to give the people that I love what they need to be happy, and in turn – bringing happiness to me.


Because the biggest things that I have learned from 19 to the end of 22, is that no matter what I do for myself on the surface or underneath, and no matter how far I run from or how close I cling on to the things that hurt or please me – they are still going to be a HUGE factor in my life and who I am. [Photos by Eric Lafforque]






23 I have been waiting for you all my life

Monday, September 21, 2009

My Astrology Book (rough starter sketches)









(disregaurd the magazine pages i scribbled on - had nothing else at the time)

Monday, September 7, 2009

fall is running towards me, i'm ready to feel

I feel the sky about to open up
And since my world feels upside down....
I'll be falling out of it now
onto what's yet to come
remembering that we never expected to be where we are now...a year ago.
and i'd be okay with going back to years ago
but not if i'd have to go through it all again
ohhh because the things i went through already
revisit me far too frequently
and what i wish i could have more frequently
won't visit at all.
if only i could teach gravity to let go
i'd instead be falling into the sky.........




Sunday, September 6, 2009

oooooooooohhhh - WWWWWWEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeee

I'm very excited!


I am working on a project I have postponed for quite some time now.



A few pieces of my artwork SOLD at the "Art Of Fashion" show @ Webster Hall NYC



So I now have the drive to get into my Zodiac Creatures astrology series. I typically do portraits - close ups on faces - but sometimes venture into full length, which i actually aesthetically prefer to draw because I can get into accessories and more body parts than just the face and hair. Don't worry....my trademark detailed hair will still be apparent. I feel I've studied astrology enough to get a very good feel for what the exaltation of each sign personified would be in my artistic language.



I had written out detailed descriptions for each zodiac "creature" a long time ago.


 
 


They will be 8.5 x 11 but full color, maybe some type of embellishment.



Also, I know it's silly to quote someone from a reality TV show but I really felt this captured what so many aspiring artists/designers feel:

 
"I know I have something to say...and I know the way I say it might be a different way.  But my voice just gets louder with every struggle I encounter."
(btw, someone thought they saw this guy - Melvin from the newest PR - at my art show, lol)
PHOTOS FROM THE ART SHOW COMING LATER THIS EVENING!!!

Saturday, August 22, 2009

LiSTEN UP [said the man with the gun]

you don't have to be a tree hugger to love the earth
or a lion tamer to calm these beasts.
I'm a tourist in my own habitat...
...on my own planet.
Stopping angry Lincoln Tunnel drivers to capture this enchantment
We don't know how long we have!!
"AY MAMA!!"
Maluca had me at hello
(the day Michael Jackson died)
It was an accident.
Then there's Amanda Blank....
I planned to blab my blab about this one
way before she got to the masses
But she can do it up. So i repaid the favor - - -
DON'T LOSE SIGHT OF YOUR DREAMS
(or get into a car accident while you drive to them)

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

havin a beer and some cool whip...


getting older means responsibility in the foreground...emotions taking over used to be allowed to be the foreground. responsibility was just what you did to avoid getting yelled at. we're brainwashed to think that WANTING responsibility is going to be the only way to have it, to make things happen in our lives, to be "successful". I love independence. I love being able to do what I want because I'm financially and emotionally free. But where is that real real realness of naive exciting new happiness mixed with vulnerable twisted young hearts...flying from one place to the next with each other, holding on to what we feel and not what we have to do next? Where's the feeling you get late at night in a dorm room listening to radiohead when the wind outside is too bad for anyone to go out. Everything else is so silent. Nothing can ever make me feel as deep and real as that. I looked at the world like it was a fresh young tree, I sat back and waited for it to show me new things every day. Life seemed far and long and the bitter cold felt fresh while the heat felt like love. Now my eggs are in the right baskets, maybe my pockets are empty but there's strength on my back and I walk solely with responsibility and the mundane priorities written across my forehead. I know what's supposed to be done and I know how to shield myself from pain. But shield myself from pain....and also from life? Where is love? Where is PAINFUL, emotional...needy, clingy, raw, real love? If it comes and then goes and then comes back and then grows...will it ever even stay? Responsibility scares it away. When I learn to mix it all, I'm going to let myself fall. Maybe just in time for the changing leaves that bring emotional breezes. Maybe, again, I can feel like never before and promise to it that I will never scare it away. I'm not scared anymore - please show me that it's you.....I know my wanting to be around you has not gone away. I know that when I was with other people, I dreamt of the way you used to fill my life with all the things I wish i could have but don't. I did the same for you. I know nothing else around me feels right without you. I know what you mean when you say it scares you that you want to see me everyday. I know how hard it was to carry on every day when we recovered from the pain we inflicted on each other. I know it was both of us. I think neither of us knew how good we had it. I think neither of us realized that magnet between us as intensely as we do now, as we realized while away from each other. I remember the deepest deepest feelings that I never thought possible...pouring out of me because of you. I want to hope that spending time with you again is going to allow this to reappear. But i'm afraid that my guard is up so high, that it will take so much longer than before. I'm afraid of being wrong about me and you. But when I'm with you I'm home...? And I never thought I'd say that. I want to take things slow but I don't know slow with you and I'm afraid I never will. I want our homes to intertwine. I've always wanted that. I want our lives to overlap and I love to coexist with you. I'm afraid of all of this and I never thought I'd still feel this way after so long. I didn't even start writing this intending to send it to you. It was supposed to be a sentence, one sentence - that i wanted to jot down for myself. it turned into this....

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

tHEREScRACKSiNoURhAUNTEDhEADS

First, A Few Fantastic Things:
Latin Love

Festival Aftermath


Old Fashioned Driving Directions

Coney Island @ Night

Brooklyn; How Sweet It Is

Ride or Die Hippies & Fourth of July Kittens in Philadelphia
(his name's George Washington)

lol cats


potty plants


former vegetarians' proud hunter dad


phsycologists' wall art

Midsummer Night's Feet

BIG DOG, little dog

weekend morning


big lazy love

semi-free

______________________________________________

(check out weburbanist.com) - thanks jg3

Now, just a few underrated & not underrated noteable music groups:
Ratatat...most entertaining instrumental dance party
(plus it makes me wanna rap)

Ulrich Shnauss - Stars

(I also love the band Stars)

(Godspeed) is just super.

___________________________________________________________

And...
Observational feelings of strangely relating to family & community issues in my favorite Films, Music, & Artists

Little Miss Sunshine...unconditional sibling appreciation



Hope Floats
(boy is continuously wearing a different animal costume & no one asks questions
+ the mother to daughter...to daughter interaction)

Me and You and Everyone We Know
featuring AND by
Miranda July

Goodfellas, lol...italian barbarians
just lovin their food


Edward Scissorhands

(and the reaction of the neighborhood + his adoration of the daughter) Gilbert Grape (Another Johnny Depp)

Fleet Foxes

Donnie & Elizabeth Darko (Jake & Maggie Gyllenhal)


Cocorosie
(Werewolf)

"River sweep away my memories of
Children's things a young mother's love
Before the yearning song of flesh on flesh
Young hearts burst open wounds bleed fresh
A young brother skinny and tall
my older walks Oceanward and somber,
slumber sleeping Flowers in the water,
But I'm just his daughter."



Bon Iver (For Emma)

The Arcade Fire
(like...Neighborhood #1 [Tunnels])

"Then we tried to name our babies,
but we forgot all the names that,
the names we used to know.
But sometimes, we remember our bedrooms,
and our parent’s bedrooms,
and the bedrooms of our friends.
Then we think of our parents,
well what ever happened to them?!"


Natasha Kahn of Bat For Lashes,
she loves head dresses:



Relationships don't shape life. They just add to how human we are. It's time to learn to let them evolve and change on their own time...in their own unique ways

I want to go to Mexico for Dia De Los Muertes (Day of the Dead) on November 2, 2009











Gonna dress as a mexican skeleton dancer for Halloween

$o $iK!!

+ HAHAHAHA!
































































































































































































































































































Paul Rudd in Wet Hot American Summer & the sleepwalking scene from Stepbrothers




























































































































































































































































































P.S. SoundFood for The Week
Bon Iver - Skinny Love
This Will Destroy You - Quiet
Fleet Foxes - Blue Ridge Mountains
Portishead - We Carry On
Ulrich Shnauss - Stars
Poor Jackie - Man Man
Everyone You Know - Now, Now Every Children

Followers